Sunday, August 05, 2007

Turn-offs?

I read an article on Yahoo: 10 Turnoffs that Make Great Gals Wave Goodbye.
Was interesting reading. . .What do you think?
Note: The bolded text is directly from the article on Yahoo


  1. Bragging
    Maybe he owns a yacht off the coast of France. Maybe he has a timeshare in the Hampton's. Maybe his annual bonus is bigger than most guys' salaries. That's all well and good, but does it really need to be divulged on the first date?
    A little information is good, but coming off as bragging? Not so good.
    This is one that I try not to do myself, but may be guilty on occasion.
    I try to give information, but it may not always come across the way that I meant for it to.
  2. Unkept
    A-list celebrities can pull off the unkempt look. First-daters need to pay attention to shaving, clothing and bad breath. If the guy can't even put in the effort for a first impression, it doesn't bode well down the road.
    The only time that this one may be okay is if the date involves or is right after physical exercise (though I don't think that would be a FIRST date at any rate).
  3. Rude
    "Where's our drinks, lady?" If a guy treats the service staff with a lack of respect, a great gal will likely assume he'll do the same to her someday. The last thing anyone wants is to be talked down to or disrespected.
    This is a big one for me - especially if directed toward a waiter or waitress.
    I also find it rude when someone doesn't respect my time and is always late. If something happens, at least give me the courtesy of a phone call (and I will do the same).
  4. Cheap
    There will always be debate about who should pay on a first date. Some guys are traditionalists and want to foot the bill; others expect a 50-50 monetary split. In most cases, offering to pay is the way to go. Let her pick up the tab on a future date.
    I have a pretty set view on first dates (and second and third, etc...until it becomes an exclusive thing): Whoever asks should pay. If I asked a guy out, then I plan on paying (though I am also deciding where we are going and all of that jazz too). If I get asked out, I'm not planning on taking my wallet (of course, I do - just in case) or making the plans.
  5. Taken
    Marriage, separation and divorce are pretty cut-and-dry terms. If a guy says he's separated when he really means he's cheating on his wife, it's going to cause trouble. Be honest from the get-go and let the dating chips fall where they may.
    Married? You are off - limits to me. If you are legally separated or divorced - no problem, but be prepared to prove that you are either of those two...
  6. Aggressive
    Guys need to read the signals before assuming hand holding, massaging and other touchy-feely activities have the green light. Jumping too quickly to any form of intimacy can make any guy seem too aggressive.
    Nuff said.
    And on the flip side...not jumping at all after a few dates can be another turn off.
  7. Making Assumptions
    "Oh, you're one of those types of women." Jumping to conclusions about a date from the way she answers one or two questions is a definite mistake. Let the date unfold before making assumptions about someone you just met.
    I agree with this one, but don't know that it would be in my Top Ten.
  8. Not Being Present
    His cell phone is ringing constantly, he's popping away from the table every 10 minutes, and he keeps interrupting the conversation flow. First dates require focused attention -- that means putting the phone on vibrate, making eye contact and being present.
    Yep.
  9. All-Business
    Some guys are great salesmen or outstanding negotiators. But there's a time and place for business and a time and place for leisure. Guys who treat first dates like business transactions will never close the deal.
    Agree.
    I am on the fence about whether this would be in my Top Ten or not.
    I think I'll leave it for now.
  10. Nervous
    He can't sit still, he's banging his fork on the table, and he won't make eye contact for more than three seconds. Nervous antics are a real turnoff and make a great gal think a guy has something to hide. Work out the nervous kinks before the date starts.
    This may make me uncomfortable and enough of it may make me think twice, but it is definitely not in my Top Ten.

My substitutions for #7 and #10:

  1. Dishonesty
    If he isn't honest about little things during the "get to know you" phase, who knows what will happen with the big things in the future. This may overlap a bit with #5, but I am thinking more about things that I am told before the date (on the phone, etc) that turn out to be false.
  2. Negativity
    When I hear someone degrading themselves or always having the attitude of "glass is half empty", I feel like I am hearing fingernails on a chalkboard.

Thoughts on this list? What ones do you have that are different?
Yahoo also has one about Turn-off for Guys. It is very different from the one for gals, which I thought was interesting as well.

Namaste.

No comments: