Thursday, August 19, 2010

They're Only Words. . .

"Sticks and stone can break my bones, but words can never hurt me."
Yep, I said those when I was little.
Yep, I lied.

"Will you marry me?"
"You're ugly."
"You look gorgeous!"
"I hate you."

The impact of words can be life altering.
They can impact self-esteem, kill enthusiasm or increase motivation, make someone feel great or depressed.
I have seen young adults' personalities change drastically after receiving praise or criticism.
I catch myself telling the younger generations: "What they think doesn't matter, don't pay them any attention!", but I cringe as I say it because I know that it does matter.
When I have called kids out on what they are saying, I get a "I was just joking!" I cringe. . .
A wise person once told me that every joke has a small piece of truth in it somewhere.

Back in high school, I will always remember being added to the bottom of another student's Senior list as "Most Annoying". She sat in front of me and pointed it out to the person sitting next to her in a way that made it pretty easy to see her paper. That in itself didn't bother me much as I wasn't friends with her.
The words that did impact me?
The person she shared it with (who I thought was a good friend), replying "Yeah, I know".
I did the "mature" thing and ignored it - I doubt that they know I saw/overheard.
Those words affected me inside to such a degree that I still think of it, 18 years later, and second guess a lot of what I do today to make sure that I'm not being annoying.

There are a few words that I do not allow in our home.
"I'm going to kill you" and "You're fat" are two that come to mind quickly.
I don't care what the situation is. . .I'm not up for negotiation on it.
Is that annoying? Don't care.

Some people may be able to forget things easily, some can't.
I forgive (in most cases pretty quickly), but it is very hard for me to forget and it is even harder for me to not be emotionally impacted by words, even years later. Many times, the way I interact with people changes permanently based on their words.

I try to pick my words wisely and even ask myself "Will what I say have impact in 10 years?".
You may be surprised how many times I answer "maybe".
Sometimes when I am talking to young adults, I answer "hopefully".

As I have gotten older, my "skin" has gotten thicker. . .
That doesn't mean that the words do not have less of an impact, it just means it is harder for people to see the results.
So if you happen to catch me with watery eyes - it could be a piece of dust in my eyeball or I may be reliving a memory inside from yesterday, last year or even 18 years ago.

Is that healthy?
Sometimes yes, Sometimes no.
This is me, this is my journey. . .I can't change it.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Sad Obligations

MBB and I have been at funeral homes two evenings this week to pay our respects.
Yes, it is only Wednesday.

In the last two weeks, I have been to three visitations (or layouts, as MBB calls them) and since late December, there have been four.

I said goodbye to a:
-49 year old man who had a heart attack
-42 year old man who was playing volleyball in the heat
-40 year old man who was in a car wreck just a football field or two from him home
-50 year old man who had severe diabetes

They were too young to die!


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Parent Homework

Yes, it is that time of the year again. . .
You know - When PARENTS get tons of homework!

Even with forms being mailed to the house ahead of time (yes, I did fill them out early too!), I still had a huge pile to read and sign.

I may be weird, but I actually read the stuff that I sign.
Even the small print.

Like the one sentence. . .
"Here is your first test. Have the bottom part of this paper signed and then turn in the detached portion for 20 points. If you turn in the entire sheet, you will only receive 15 points."

Good thing that I am nice and pointed it out to MaBell since she had signed without reading. . .
Would have hated for her to get a D for her first grade.


Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Ten Things Keeping Me Busy

1. Volleyball Boosters
2. Back To School Shopping
3. Preparing for an Appraisal
4. Planning a Wedding
5. Football Practice Driving
6. Volleyball Practice Carpool
7. Working
8. Exercising (Elliptical or Church Volleyball)
9. Filling out School Forms (they multiply like rabbits!)
10. Walking upright