I don't usually go back and reread things that I ramble about here.
I do refer to restaurants or quilts...but not usually when I just type.
My blog has truly turned into a private diary for me as the popularity of blogs has died down.
And that's okay.
Today, I revisited a post from a few years ago (not intentional, it just happened) and it about broke me.
And I realized the my life hasn't changed much since that post and that hurts.
I do have a history with anxiety and luckily, I know the signs to head it off...
But that doesn't stop the tears from being reminded about who I am.
And honestly, I am who I am and there isn't much to change there.
What little I can change, I have started talking to my doctor about, but I don't know that it will help much.
What has changed since that post is the number of people who can just be outright mean!
And they are not happy that I won't let that into my life.
Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. Maybe not.
But I don't and won't have to experience their hatred and meanness.
I am blessed that the few people who do read this blog are in far countries who don't know me.
I can truly use it to just get thoughts onto the screen and cope (a way I deal with anxiety).
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