Remembering - Friends

I am not an easy person to like - I admit it.
I remember being told years ago that no one would ever want to marry me.
Yes, that memory still hurts.

I pretty much have one (maybe two) friends from high school and none (maybe one) friends from college that I have stayed close to.  Don't get me wrong - Facebook is great and allows for lots of people to stay in touch (and I like that), but we aren't active parts of each others' lives.
And sometimes, Facebook drives that point home in a way that creates permanent scarring.

I also have a few friends from Unity and Pool where we have had to part ways due to my relocation - some because of the Kentucky move years ago and some because of the Michigan move more recently.

It was so easy to hear - "We will stay in touch! We will visit,"...
But we don't... And they didn't...
And some I don't want to...
But I miss what we used to have.

We have gotten to know a few people since we moved, but it is still in the "getting to know you stage" and honestly, I miss having friends.  I miss having someone that I can go to dinner with... who I can just hang out with...

But as I mentioned earlier, I'm not an easy person to like.
I get it.
I even catch MBB making comments about me - sometimes in jest...
Sometimes not.
And that makes me sad.
But, I am me.
And I really don't have the energy or the desire to change.

I already have a list of things I can't say anymore in our new area...
(Yes, I admit - I hate being teased.. especially when I know that even jest start with some truth.)

But, I do remember and miss having friends.
Having someone who got my sense of humor (very dry) and loved me for who I am.
Not someone who "liked" me just because I was their boss or because they want to know my husband.

And alcohol makes me remember this even more.
(No - I didn't write this at 5am on a Wednesday while intoxicated... I scheduled the posting to go out in the future - to follow the trend of my Remembering posts being on Wednesday.)
No, this isn't really a "pity me post".  Sometimes, it just helps to type as I cry and let it go.

Namaste.