Stupid Emotions...

My emotions have been on a roller coaster lately.
I have not hit the age that I can blame it on "the change"...
Though sometimes, I can/will blame it on Mother Nature.

I am realizing that my life has changed drastically over the last 5 years.
Some ways for the better.
Some ways...well, it is hard to say goodbye to people, dreams, hopes.

I have days where everything is wonderful.
I have days when I try, really try, to get some closure on things so that I can let go.
I've made decisions.  They were mine to make.
But that doesn't make it any easier.

I hate worrying...
I hate the fact that a person across town has such a big impact on my life...
I hate that phone lines / highways seem to only go one way...
I hate that I am the one who has to make a change when that change wasn't my choice...

I miss some of my family...
I miss feeling like I was important...
I miss making pretty stuff...
I really miss my exercise place...

I love seeing the stars so beautiful in the morning...
I love being a wife...98% of the time.
I love that even though I experienced a tornado...I am still here to recover from it.
I love that the recovery is almost over...Almost.

At times, I don't post to the blog because I don't want it to be a place of constant whining.
Other times, I just have to get it out somewhere and even though a lot gets censored because I really don't know who read here... Well, this is my one and only somewhere.

And as my roller coaster decides to become one for the record books, I have to figure out a way to get back to me.  I know that some things on my bucket list will never get a check mark by them.  I have to be okay with that and learn to focus on the things that did get those check marks.

Namaste.