Some Thoughts

I have never done things in a normal manner - that's just not the way that my mind works.
I bought a new bed to go with a comforter that I liked. Don't most people buy the bed first?

I've always been told that I'd meet the man of my dreams, marry, have a baby.
Go through the normal cycle of growing pains. . .
The midnight feedings.
The terrible twos.
The potty training.
The sassing off, etc.

Well, they had to put that "normal" word in there. . .And of course, I couldn't do it.
I didn't do it on purpose. . .It just happened that way!

The man of my dreams was already a full-time father.
I jumped right into the pre-teen and teenage years - 24/7. . .
The hormones.
The cell phone addiction.
The personality swings.
The drama of middle school friendships.
The hormones.
The text messaging addiction.
The peer pressure.

As hard as it has been, I took on a package deal when MBB and I decided to have a life together.
I have no idea what I am doing - I have no idea if I am being a "reasonable" parent.
I can try to put myself in their position to try to understand the reason behind the action.
I can try to be a friend, but I have to be a parent too.
I can only hope, pray and work with MBB the best that I can.

I do have my past to fall back on. . .
I was the child that had a new parent stepping in.
I was the child who had a mom 24/7 because the "sp*rm donor" didn't want to have the responsibility of a 5-year old - even every other weekend.

These are my kids - the ones of my heart.
It doesn't matter that I didn't give birth to them.
It doesn't matter that legally, I have no right to them.

To have the good, I have to have the bad.
On a micro level, sometimes I just want to sit down and cry.
On a macro level, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I guess this is my version of normal.

Namaste.