Life lesson

**Written on 5/22 from my phone so keeping that date, though I never logged into blogger to post**

I am working on a new focus...

Not how important I am to people, but how important they are to me.

The only thing that matters is how I view myself.

To do that, I have a lot of a hard pills to swallow.

To realize that your level of commitment is not equally reciprocated...

Sometimes it hurts, but it is reality.
Sometimes it isn't healthy, but it is reality.
Sometimes things can remain the same with a new outlook and other times, things have to change to go on.

To be able to focus on my own thoughts and feelings rather than others is my new goal.

I have shed a lot of tears over this one with some, but I have also started to distance myself with others.

Namaste.

Traditions...

I am big on traditions and big on treating people equally...

That means that all of my grandchildren get a quilt made by Nana...

 

Baby Brother is no different...

Though, I am still trying to figure out how I can live in KENTUCKY and could not find any fabric with HORSES on it!  So, while I was hoping for horses, I ended up with deer and other wildlife instead.

 

 

 

Namaste.

Billiards...

Yes, I play pool...

Yes, I believe that it is a challenge...

Yes, I have gotten better...

Yes, I am proud of that...

 

 

Namaste. 

Pool Rules

I don't know where this came from (was a share of a share on Facebook)...

But I thought this was worth reading again and again...

 

Not sure how many others will find value, but my value is my #1 priority. :)

 

 

 

 

 

Namaste. 

Mommy's Day

I have to admit that this day is hard for me...

Yes, I was able to help raise my hubby's kids and I am extremely grateful for that.
I am also blessed to be called Nana and that is one of my favorite things to hear!

But, I let go of my dream of having my own babies and for that I need to take a moment.
And just let myself feel.

Preferably without a quart of ice cream.

Namaste.

Found One...

So, a few weeks ago...

Most of clothes don't fit and my thyroid levels are all over the place...

I realized that I just needed to be miserable and take care of it by myself.

 

In doing so, I have been searching for some things that make it a little less miserable...

 

The "snack" that I have found that I like the most is the one that appears to be the hardest to find.

I have had to give money to a co-worker to buy them for me... :(

 

But, they make me feel like I had a treat and don't kill my calorie tracking...
Which is a VERY good thing.

 

And no, CLIF did not pay me to say that. 

They probably don't even know that my little blog even exists.

 

 

Namaste. 

 

Ouch

My head is spinning...

I don't know which way is up...
Or down...

Some weeks, I'm not even sure what day it is or where I am...
No lie - I've had to ask hotel workers...

I achieved a professional goal...
Sometimes, I question if it was the right path and other times, I am extremely excited...
That along with all of the personal changes occurring now...
Yeah - I won't bore you.

In the end - it is what it is and I am going to have to try very hard to make everything work.
Part of that is being able to cry just to cry...
And getting mental breaks...

The only ways that I know to do that is to read a good series (I have run out of those) and to blog about mindless things.  You know - not my problems, but just stuff to get my mind off of everything for awhile.

I really need to figure out how to blog on my phone better.
That will be fun right now as auto correct and I are not getting along right now.

I know that I have said that about blogging before...
But I wasn't this close to anxiety and panic attacks becoming a daily friend before either.

I am on a mission to get my brain straightened out. 
Along with the physical.
I've given up on the spiritual fixes right now.  :(
I will just maintain there where I am.

A few prayers and crossed fingers would be greatly appreciated.

Namaste.